BBC Radio 4 broadcaster John Humphrys is under inverstigation by BBC Chairman Michael 'More favours, Mr Blair?' Grade, who in a rare break from kissing the governments posteriors has decided that Mr Humphrys, a very highly regarded broadcaster, has failed to do so also. It must be made clear to all that after the Hutton Report on how mercurial Mr Blair is, no criticism, however light or well based, may be made by any BBC member of staff, of any member of Government, lest the government pulls the plug on Auntie's funding.

It must be noted that despite the Dodgy Dossier which, we must remember, turned out to be as sexed up as a nymphomaniac at a bordellos happy hour, we must not suggest that any prominent members of the Government are lying, sleazy rat bags. Because, of course, they aren't, they are sweet, innocent, honest men working for the bettering of our society by whatever means they can. So, Lord Hutton decided that clearly the BBC were unfair, clearly they were no longer a free and unbiased news source, and the only way to stop this bias, would be to ban them from saying anything bad about the men in power, that would work, and esspecially, nobody mention the fact that Sadaam couldn't have mustered an Arsenal of WMD in 45 days, never mind 45 minutes.

So, John must face trouble, rumour has it, he mocked politicians in an after dinner speech. And we all know that mocking people is a crime, so clearly he should be investigated, I mean, such mocking could take the tiniest bit of air out of Mr Blair's Zeppelin sized Ego, and that would be bad. How dare Humphrys even consider that politicians, like the rest of humanity at large, were fair game for a bit of light hearted humour. Is he unaware that they are higher beings who must be revered for their fabulously developed hypocrisy, complete lack of irony and over use of Cluster Bombs on residental areas of middle eastern countries? Did it not dawn on him that in order to give an unbiased, balanced view, he must make sure only to say good things about the government, and bad things about all who oppose them?

Luckily, I can clearly see that Mr Blair is whiter than white, and that John Humphrys is a heinous villain trying to effect the near perfect reputation for trustability that our honorable leader has built up. Long live freedom of speech.